When AJ checked on Ciara an hour later, she was asleep on the loveseat under the window while Dan was asleep in the bed. He chose to let her sleep so that he wouldn’t disturb Dan and went back to rejoin Jarod and the twins in the living room.
The funeral was a few days later. Kevin, Brian, Nick, and Howie flew in to support Tara, her family, and AJ. Afterwards, AJ would join the guys for rehearsals for the tour as Nick had been cleared to go on the road, just not be so active with the shows like he had been.
Ciara had decided to stick close to home for the boys for a few days and promised AJ she would join him and the guys within the week. He made her promise to get some rest and spend time with her brothers and to call him any time of the day or night.
The guys had been on the road for nearly a week when Ciara made the late night call to AJ.
“Alex?” Ciara asked into the phone when someone answered on the other end.
“No… it’s Nick… he’s sleeping. Ciara, you okay? I can wake him.” Nick answered and offered.
“Um, no, that’s all right. I just needed to hear a familiar voice.” Ciara was a little disappointed. She really missed AJ.
“Will I do?” Nick asked.
“Um, Nick, you’re sweet, but I know you’re tired. Just tell Alex I called?” Ciara didn’t know what else to say. She didn’t want to cry to Nick about how much she missed her mom and how much she missed Alex and Rachel and the guys. She wanted normalcy again and she wasn’t sure if she’d ever have it in her life now that her memory was back.
“When are you joining us?” Nick asked.
“This coming weekend. I’m waiting until Susie and Jarod are back from the city. I made them take a few days to themselves.” Ciara admitted.
“We can’t wait to see you. We all miss you. Especially Alex.” Nick admitted.
“Watch over him for me, Nicky. Let him know I called and that I love him, will ya?” Ciara asked.
“I will. You take care and we’ll see you in a few days.” Nick said.
Ciara felt better in just that few minutes with Nick. She really had only wanted to talk with Alex, but just making small talk with Nick helped her mood tremendously.
“Hey gorgeous!” Alex said as Ciara was ushered into a secured airport waiting room. The moment she heard his voice her whole facial expression changed from a somber one to an excited one.
“Alex!!!” she cried out and ran to him. “I thought they weren’t letting you come to meet me.” She said as he swung her around.
“They knew better. I couldn’t not be here to meet your plane angel eyes. I’ve missed you.” AJ replied as he put her down.
“I’ve missed you too. The phone calls just aren’t enough.” Ciara explained.
“Let’s get your bags and get to the venue. Everyone’s been waiting for you to get here too, but I’m happy just to have you in the same time zone with me now.” AJ kissed the back of her hand as they walked amidst the bodyguards.
“No offense to the rest of the guys, but the only one that I want to see, that I came to see is you. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve missed them too... but... they’re not you.” Ciara said only loud enough for AJ and herself to here.
“I promise that after the concert you’ll have me all to yourself. Can you hold out for a few more hours?”
“I’ll try.”
A few minutes later they were on their way to the venue. AJ managed to convince the guys to let him and Ciara drive one of the cars themselves.
“Now that we’ve got a few minutes alone... how are you really?” AJ asked as soon as they were within closed doors.
“I’m alright... The booktour resumes next week and I can’t wait for that. Jarod and I talked with Dan and the boys. Dan’s selling the house and he’s going to move himself and the boys to another house closer to Jarod and Sarah. I also promised that they could still come see you guys when you’re in Boston. Is that alright?”
“Of course. Now, what about the memories... are you still getting them?” AJ questioned.
“The flashes? Yeah... they come in waves. Some are intense, some are happy, some are sad, but all in all, nothing too earth shattering. Jarod has helped me through alot of them and so has your mom.”
“I’m sorry I haven’t ...” AJ started to apologize for not being physically able to help her through the memory problems, but Ciara stopped him by pressing a finger to his lips.
“You’ve done plenty already. Besides... I know you’re here for me and all that. I’m okay, Alex. Honest.” Ciara stressed. She didn’t want AJ to worry about her when he needed to focus on the concert tour.
“So... How are the boys and Amy? Did they all behave for you?” AJ said. He changed the subject so that neither one of them would get upset.
“Yeah… they were kids, ya know… we had our moments, but otherwise, they were okay. We all miss mom. So… tell me about the tour and stuff. What’s been going on with you?”
“Hanging out with Nick… played a lot of basketball… tried not to think of you.” AJ said, causing Ciara to blush.
They chatted the rest of the way to the venue about their time apart from each other. AJ had Ciara laughing by the time they had parked the car.
“Ciara!” Rachel cried out as Ciara got out of the car. Rachel and the guys were waiting by the guys’ bus.
“Hey… not too close… I may have caught Amy’s cold.” Ciara flat out lied. She wasn’t in the mood for hugs and kisses from everyone… just AJ.
“And you came anyway? What a trooper!” Nick declared.
“Well, alright… since I’m in a hugging mood, I guess I’ll hug AJ.” Brian teased as everyone laughed.
“You goob… go away.” AJ said as he shooed the guys off of him.
“We were all going to get something to eat before sound check. You two hungry?” Kevin asked.
“I ate on the plane.” Ciara commented.
“I had a burger at the airport.” AJ replied, “I think we’re just gonna hang out on the bus for a while until sound check? Okay?” he asked everyone. They all agreed.
“We’ll talk later?” Rachel questioned Ciara. Ciara nodded in response.
AJ and Ciara went to the back of the bus and laid down in one of the bunks and held each other for a while, neither speaking, as they listened to each other’s heartbeats.
“Boy how I’ve missed this.” AJ commented to break the silence about a half hour after they had laid down.
“I’ve got a confession to make Alex.” Ciara barely moved as she spoke. AJ took his hand to lift her face towards him so that they could look at each other.
“Good one or bad one?” AJ said with a smile.
“The flashbacks are getting worse. I blacked out in front of the boys and Jarod last night. I really scared them… I scared me.” Ciara was honest with AJ.
“Jarod told me. He also said that you flew out here against doctor’s wishes.”
“You know?” Ciara was a little shocked.
“Yeah, Jarod called me right after you boarded the plane. You mad?” AJ asked.
“A little…”
“I know why you came and I’m flattered, but you should have listened to the doctor.” AJ scolded her.
“I just don’t want to be alone and I don’t want to impose on my brother and Sarah and the family they’re building. My house is empty with Rachel here with all of you and I miss you.” Tears formed in Ciara’s eyes.
“Don’t cry… things will be alright, but the minute you have one of those flashbacks and you black out, you’re headed to the emergency room. Understand?” AJ insisted. Ciara nodded. “Good, now let’s take a nap… I haven’t been sleeping well without my sexy, cuddly teddy bear beside me.” He chuckled.
“Remind me next time I see that bear to toss it out the window.” Ciara giggled as she snuggled closer to AJ before falling asleep in his arms.
They were asleep for nearly an hour when Rachel was sent onto the bus to let AJ know they were about to do sound check and that he was needed.
“Awe… aren’t you two cute?” Rachel sighed when she saw them wrapped in each other’s arms. “AJ… you’re needed on stage.” She spoke a little louder.
“Wha?” Ciara woke first. When she moved, it woke AJ.
“Hey sleepyheads… AJ, they’re ready for a sound check.”
“Thanks Rach… We’ll continue this later?” AJ grinned before kissing Ciara on the cheek.
“You bet.” Ciara replied as she reluctantly let AJ go. Rachel sat down beside her.
“You okay?” Rachel asked as she looked at her friend.
“I’m doing alright. I miss mom despite everything that’s happened, I really do.” Ciara admitted quickly to Rachel.
“I miss her too.” Rachel began to cry, which got Ciara started.
* * * *
“AJ, Ciara ok?” Nick asked as soon as he saw AJ enter the stage.
“She’s fine, Nick. Don’t worry… “ AJ insisted.
“You look happy man…” Howie commented.
“Don’t tell me you two… on the…” Brian was about to get angry.
“We took a nap… that’s all… don’t make me come over there and give you a wedgie, Bri.” AJ laughed.
“Can we do this?” Kevin looked at all the guys as the band filed in.
“What’s his problem?” AJ asked Nick. Nick shrugged.
“Rachel’s heading home tomorrow. She took an assignment in Washington State for a few weeks and needs to get some things done.” Brian explained.
“Could we stop gossiping about my love life and get on with the rehearsal, thank you very much?” Kevin seemed a little agitated.
“That sucks, Kev. It really does, but you two will survive.” AJ went up to Kevin and whispered in his ear.
“Thanks AJ.” Kevin replied as the band started with Shape Of My Heart for the guys to warm up to.
During sound check, one of the roadies noticed that a set of motion stairs weren’t moving correctly so he brought it to everyone’s attention. The guys would have to quickly rechoreograph Show Me The Meaning. Once that was set, AJ bolted straight for the bus. He found Ciara and Rachel laughing over a photo album that Rachel had made of the guys for Ciara. He stood there watching the two best friends for a few minutes.
“Hey… do you mind?” Kevin nudged AJ into the back room of the bus.
“Sorry… I didn’t want to interrupt them. They were having such a great time.” AJ said.
The women looked up from the photo album.
“Oh, hey, sound check over already?” Rachel asked.
“Yup… meet and greet’s in a few… Ciara, you’re looking pale.” Kevin noticed. Rachel looked at her best friend and cocked her head to one side as AJ slipped in next to Ciara.
“You’re not suppose to be here, are you?” Rachel asked Ciara point blank. Ciara looked at AJ and knew instantly that he told no one what he knew.
“Don’t start, Rachel… I had no choice… I didn’t want to be alone.” Ciara answered frankly.
“What’s going on?” Kevin asked.
“I don’t want to talk about it. Can we all just have one night where there’s nothing wrong and we’re all just enjoying each other’s company? Please?” Ciara asked.
“You got it, babe.” AJ said before kissing her on the cheek.
“Okay… how about you ladies escort us to the meet and greet and then to our dressing rooms?” Kevin suggested.
“Sounds like a plan… lead on…” Rachel looked lovingly into Kevin’s eyes before turning to look into Ciara’s. She’d corner Ciara in the ladies room later and find out what was going on before she would call Jarod for the truth.
The meet and greet ran a little differently for this show. They were having some equipment problems with one of the opening acts so the question and answer session ran a little long.
“Is it true that your girlfriend is here, AJ?” one of the girls asked.
“Yup… she’s right over there… wave sweetie.” AJ said to Ciara. She managed a smile and a wave for the fans. She was standing next to Rachel. “And the woman next to her, is Kevin’s girlfriendfiancée, Rachel. Now don’t boo. We all have never seen him as happy as he is with Rachel in his life.”
“Weren’t they the two that won the MTV contest, but you had to declare another winner?” another girl asked. Ciara raised her hand. AJ noticed right away.
“Ciara… do you want to answer this one?” he asked. She nodded. Security led her and Rachel up to where the guys were. Brian handed Ciara his mic.
“Hi… I know you’re all here to see the guys and they’re grateful that you’re here, but if I could have a few minutes to explain the answer to the question the young woman in the back asked, I’d appreciate it. So to all you reporters out there… listen carefully and get it right. What happened was at the time of the concert, I had amnesia to a certain extent because of a really bad accident when I was fourteen. Yes, it’s true that AJ and I knew each other when we were children. He was led to believe that I died in the hospital after that accident. Anyway, Rachel and I listened to the guys, but I didn’t know AJ. I didn’t know that Rachel entered the contest and when she won, she and I headed to MTV to pick up the prize. AJ recognized me and immediately told the powers that be that he had to make sure who I was. The minute I heard AJ’s voice, I knew who he was and I remembered my past. The guys all knew right then and there that another winner had to be chosen. Rachel wasn’t upset by that. She understood completely. I hope that you, the fans, do too.” Ciara told them before handing the microphone back to Brian.
“Is AJ really the rebel of the group?” someone shouted out.
“Of course I am.” AJ replied and tore off his wife-beater. Ciara blushed.
Rachel noticed and nudged Ciara. “You ready to talk to me?” she asked. She figured that now was as good a time as any to try to talk to Ciara about what was going on. Ciara nodded. They motioned to the guys that they were leaving and went back to the bus with security to talk.
“Okay Ciara… spill…” Rachel stated as they sat down with water at the table in the back.
“I’m going in for minor brain surgery next week. I’ve got some blood vessels that are bleeding slightly.”
“How slightly?”
“Enough to put pressure on my spine, my memory nodes, and enough to be concerned about paralysis.” Ciara admitted.
“I’m canceling my traveling nurse job that I was suppose to begin. I’ll be your nurse for a while. How’s that sound?” Rachel said without hesitation.
“That would be the easy, comfortable route for both of us, wouldn’t it?” Ciara stated.
“Yeah, it would. Have you told AJ yet?” Rachel asked.
"I really think I should tell Alex without the guys around. I appreciate your offer, but let’s just take it a few minutes at a time. I promise that after I talk with Alex tonight that we’ll talk with the guys soon." Ciara promised.
Rachel didn’t push her any further to include the rest of the guys on what would be happening. She decided to be supportive of Ciara.
"Okay, just promise me that if you need me, you’ll let me know?" Rachel asked.
"In a heartbeat. During the concert, please don’t leave my side." Ciara stated.
"Are you kidding? It’s going to be maddening… you and I are going to be surrounded by security and then some. Tonight’s show is sold out. I’m surprised that we aren’t going to be handcuffed together." Rachel laughed.
"Someone say handcuffs?" Kevin asked as he entered the back room, causing both women to blush.
"Kev!" Rachel protested. He chuckled.
"Anyone ever tell you how much more beautiful you both look when you blush?" Kevin asked.
"Stop hitting on my woman, Kev." AJ said as he jokingly pushed Kevin out of the way.
"Sound check over already?" Ciara asked.
"Yup. We’ve got an hour or so before we need to change and such." AJ answered as he sat down on the other side of her.
"Wanna fool around?" Kevin asked Rachel as he held out his hand.
"Just don’t wear him out, okay? He needs some energy for the stage." AJ teased as Rachel and Kevin disappeared to the bunks. Ciara laughed.
"Alex, you’re incorrigible."
"But that’s why you love me." AJ said as he moved to nibble on her ear.
"Partly… how was the rest of the meet and greet?" Ciara asked.
"I’m beginning to wonder if the fans are more interested in who we’re dating than who we are anymore. They still had questions pertaining to you and Rachel after you left. It was hysterical. Nick finally told them that in actuality, you two were aliens from another planet, here to try to understand the difference between us and the rest of the boy groups out there." AJ told her. Ciara busted out with laughter.
"I can so picture him saying that too." She stated.
"So… tell me… what else did you do with your brothers and your niece while Jarod and Sara were alone for a few days?" AJ wanted to know.
"I took them into New York City to eat at WWE. They met Lita and The Hardy Brothers. It was cool. Oohh, I have pictures." Ciara said and whipped out a few for him.
"Looks like you loved it to." AJ replied.
"How could I not… being able to see my younger brothers laughing and having fun did me some good. I think the trip into the city did me some good too. Bonding with my brothers and stuff." Ciara admitted.
"You want children someday, don’t you?" AJ asked out of the blue. Ciara looked at him.
"I think I’d be a good mom, yeah." She replied.
"I think you’d be a wonderful mom." AJ replied.
"Thanks, Alex." She softened from her stoic position. She was afraid he would know that she had some bad news to tell him and she didn’t want him to get that vibe before the concert.
"You know, I was thinking… you’re probably exhausted from all that time with the kids and the flight. You don’t need to come watch the show if you’re not up to it." AJ explained.
“I want to be there. I wanna have some fun.” Ciara insisted.
“That makes me happy. That you want to be there.” AJ admitted.
“You make me happy. But would really make me happy is if we could just cuddle until you are needed in wardrobe.”
“I can oblige.” AJ smiled as he pulled her closer to him.
A little while later, Nick let them know it was time to go to wardrobe.
Ciara walked with AJ and the guys and Rachel over to wardrobe and then went and sat in their dressing room and waited for their curtain call.
After the concert was over, everyone went straight to the hotel. AJ and Ciara had planned on just staying in. Ciara had wanted to talk and AJ knew something was up.
“AJ, there’s more I need to tell you about what the doctor said.” Ciara admitted once they were alone in their hotel room. They were sitting on the bed enjoying the silence as they cuddled.
“Is everything alright?” AJ got a worried look on his face.
“Honestly? No… no it’s not.” Ciara took a deep breath. “I’m going in for minor brain surgery next week. I’ve got some blood vessels that are bleeding slightly.”
“How slightly?” AJ managed to ask as he let the news sink in.
“The doctors believe that by relieving the pressure that the bleeding is causing that it’ll ease the intensity of the headaches and stop the blackouts.” Ciara covered. She didn’t want to tell him about the possibility of brain damage and/or paralysis.
“This is why the doctor didn’t want you coming out? Does Jarod know?” AJ asked.
“No… only you and Rachel. I don’t want him to worry about me. He’s got Sarah and his family to worry about. I didn’t want to even tell you or Rachel, but I knew that I had to or you’d both know something was up when I didn’t come out here.” Ciara admitted.”
“I want to be there.” AJ stated.
“No… you need to finish this tour… You’ve got these last three weeks with ending in Boston. I’m having minor surgery…”
“Brain surgery is not minor surgery Ciara.” AJ was getting upset.
“Mine is, Alex. I don’t want you to cancel tour dates because of me. I’m going to be just fine. I swear, Alex.” Ciara replied.
“Do you think I’m stupid, Ciara? Do you?” AJ asked.
“Of course I don’t.” Ciara replied.
“How can you sit here and tell me that brain surgery is minor? Ciara… it’s pretty serious and there could be major complications.” AJ pointed out.
“Not for me. I’m going to be fine.” Ciara told him.
“Unbelievable.” AJ replied. He got up off the bed, grabbed his jacket and left the hotel room.
Ciara figured he just needed to calm down and would be gone thirty minutes tops, but when he didn’t show up over an hour later, she went to Kevin and Rachel’s room.
“Rach?” Ciara knocked on the door.
“Just a minute…” Rachel replied before answering the door. “You alright?” she asked.
“Alex took off after I told him… he’s been gone for over an hour and a half.” Ciara blurted out. Rachel reached for Ciara’s forehead.
“You feel warm… stressin’?”
“Everything alright?” Kevin asked moments later as he came to the doorway to see what was going on.
“I told him, Ciara. It’s alright.” Rachel explained.
“I told AJ about the surgery… he got upset and took off. At first I just thought he needed to calm down and would be right back, but he’s not.” Ciara explained.
“Why don’t you and Rachel go back to your room and I’ll get Lonnie and we’ll go look for AJ?” Kevin suggested.
“Okay.” Ciara replied. Kevin saw both women to Ciara’s hotel room before going to get Lonnie and looking for AJ. They found him in the lounge, drinking.
“Damn it Alex… I thought you were done with this stuff.” Kevin said as he sat on a stool next to AJ.
“Go away Kevin. I don’t need this from you tonight.” AJ returned the greeting.
“Do you know what you being down here is doing to Ciara right now? She’s upstairs in your hotel room crying over this. She didn’t even want to tell you about this. And now she has and you handled this oh so well by taking off and disappearing on her. She’s stressing so much she’s running a temperature and according to Rachel, that’s not good for Ciara.”
“Shut up Kevin. Just shut up.” Alex said as he tried to stand up. He could barely stand. Lonnie grabbed one arm while Kevin grabbed another.
“Coffee?” asked the bartender.
“Yes, and keep it coming.” Kevin replied as they found the nearest booth and threw Alex in it.
“Go away. Both of you.” Alex replied.
“Why didn’t you come to me or Brian tonight Alex? We would have talked you through this instead of you having to come down here and tie one on.” Kevin began.
“Don’t lecture me Kevin… you’ve never been in my shoes so don’t even try to pretend that you have.” AJ replied.
“So tell me what you’re trying to drink into oblivion? Talk to me, Alex.” Kevin replied. AJ stared at Kevin for a few minutes.
“I can’t lose her again, Kevin. She’s pretending that the surgery is minor. MINOR. How the hell can you classify brain surgery as minor? " AJ ran a hand through his hair.
"Alex, she’s in survival mode. She’s doing the best she can and she needs to believe that this is minor for her. Deep down you know that and deep down you’re kicking yourself in the ass for coming down here and having a few drinks." Kevin pointed out.
"Stop trying to be my conscious Kevin. Just go away. I just want to be alone." Alex eyed Kevin as he pushed away the coffee the waiter had brought him.
"That is enough!" Lonnie exploded, "You will not wallow in self pity about Ciara and her medical problems. YOU WILL NOT pull Kevin or anyone else down like this, AND YOU WILL drink that coffee, sober up, go up and apologize to Ciara and hold her like she needs to be held. YOU WILL talk to Kevin and the guys about what you did today and YOU WILL go to an AA meeting in the morning. Understand?" Lonnie slammed his fists on the table, startling both Kevin and AJ.
"Who the hell do you think you are?" AJ got in Lonnie’s face.
"You’re bodyguard and that is why I butted in, because I’m guarding your body and alcohol is not the answer. Now shut up and drink your coffee, dammit." Lonnie replied.
Kevin’s phone rang, causing them all to reach for their phones.
"Rach?" Kevin answered the phone.
"It’s Ciara… she’s had a seizure, I’ve called for an ambulance." Rachel replied.
"We’re downstairs in the restaurant… how bad?" Kevin asked.
"She’s incoherent and confused and scared. Totally understandable. Kevin, this was the worst I’ve ever seen them." Rachel admitted.
"We’ll follow in the car."
"What’s wrong?" Alex immediately asked.
"Ciara’s had a bad seizure AJ. Rachel called for an ambulance." Kevin told his friend.
AJ bolted from his seat and headed for the elevators.
"Lonnie, get the car."
"I’m so stupid." AJ said as Kevin grabbed hold of his arm.
"You can wallow in self-pity later… sober up pal. Ciara needs you." Kevin stated solemnly.
Rachel rode with Ciara in the ambulance while Lonnie, Kevin, and AJ followed behind in the SUV.
"Where is she, Rachel?" AJ asked when they got to the Emergency waiting room.
"The doctors are looking at her. Come sit down with me." Rachel insisted. She had been crying. AJ sat on one side of her, Kevin on the other.
"How bad?" AJ asked.
"She never regained consciousness from the time she began seizing until the paramedics took her back to the curtains." Rachel explained.
"It’s all my fault." AJ said as he put his head in his hands.
"AJ? She’s asking for you. She won’t let us help her until she sees you." A nurse came running into the room a few minutes later. AJ immediately followed the nurse.
"Angel Eyes? You have to let them help you." AJ said as soon as he reached her bedside.
"You okay?" she asked him as she smiled.
"I’m okay, you’re the one in the hospital. C’mon, let them help you." AJ stated.
"My medical records are in my suitcase… go get them. They’ll help the doctors. And don’t blame yourself. You and Jarod and my doctor were right, I shouldn’t have flown." Ciara stated.
"Okay, I’ll go get your records, but you just relax and don’t worry about me or anything else." AJ said as he kissed her cheek.
"I love you Alex." Ciara whispered in his ear.
"I love you too." AJ replied before leaving to go to Rachel and Kevin.
Lonnie and Rachel went back to the hotel for Ciara’s medical records while AJ and Kevin stayed back in the waiting room and waited for word on Ciara.
After Rachel and Lonnie returned with Ciara’s medical records, the doctor contacted Ciara’s neurosurgeon and plans were made to have a medical helicopter take Ciara back home for surgery as soon as possible.
Ciara wanted to be the one to tell AJ, Rachel, and Kevin. So she was transferred to a private examination room and the doctor went to get AJ and the others.
"I want to be there too." Alex said when Ciara was finished.
"Remember what I said earlier about you finishing the tour, I meant it. It’s been delayed several times already. Rachel and your mom will be with me. I’ll be fine." Ciara smiled for AJ.
"But…" AJ stopped himself, "okay, I’ll finish the tour but then I’m racing right over to the house after that last show. Understand?" Alex asked. Ciara nodded before turning to Kevin.
"Kevin, I need you and Lonnie to keep AJ’s ass in line. I’m sure Rachel will be using many minutes on the cell phone to keep you up to date on me and on her. Will you watch after Alex for me?" Ciara asked him.
"Of course I will. Don’t you worry about a thing. What should we tell the rest of the guys?" Kevin asked.
"Tell them the truth. And tell them to just concentrate on finishing the tour. I’m going to be just fine." Ciara insisted.
"So how soon do you leave?" Alex asked.
"About an hour. As soon as the helicopter is fueled and Rachel is brought up to speed on Ciara’s condition." The doctor answered.
"Can I stay until it’s time for her to go?" Alex asked, not taking his eyes off of Ciara.
"Sure, we’ll give you some privacy." The doctor replied. Kevin leaned down and gave Ciara a hug and a kiss.
"Don’t worry about us. I’ll take care of Alex." He whispered in her ear.
"Thanks, Kev." Ciara said. She waited until she was alone with Alex to tell him everything that was on her mind.
"Alex, I need you to call Jarod and tell him what’s happened. Can you do that?" Ciara asked Alex. He replied with a nod.
"And I need for you to stop blaming yourself. I know that’s what you are doing so stop it."
"I promise I’ll stop as soon as you admit that this is a very serious procedure and not some simple thing that you’re just doing to appease the doctors." AJ said.
"I know it’s very serious AJ and I was hoping that this would never happen, but it has. The only good thing about this is that it will relieve the headaches and maybe the memory flashes won’t be so painful physically like they have been. Everything’s going to be fine. You gotta have faith Alex, okay? For me?" Ciara asked him.
"I will." AJ promised.
"We should get her upstairs AJ." A nurse said a few minutes later.
"Okay… Ciara, I love you. And I’ll just be a phone call away until the tour is over." Alex looked into Ciara’s eyes.
"I love you too. I’ll see you soon." Ciara said. Kevin and Rachel came back into the room so that Kevin could again say goodbye to Ciara and keep AJ from following her up to the heliport.
Once Ciara and Rachel had disappeared down the hall, AJ collapsed in tears in Kevin’s arms.
Kevin held AJ as he cried, sometimes uncontrollably, sometimes softly until Lonnie interrupted them an hour or so later.
"Brian called. He, Nick, and Howie were wondering where everyone was. I told Brian that AJ needed to call a meeting and for everyone to meet on the tourbus in an hour. That alright?" Lonnie questioned.
"Uh," Kevin began.
"Yeah, that’s fine Lonnie. Um, could you get us some coffee?" AJ interrupted as he stood up and reached for a tissue.
"I’ll be right back." Lonnie said.
"Alex, the floor is all yours." Kevin said when it was just him and AJ again.
"Thanks Kevin. I may need you to help explain about Ciara, but let me be the one to come clean to the guys about the alcohol. Okay?" AJ instructed.
"You don’t have to mention…"
"Yes, I do… to be true to myself and my recovery, I do. Once we tell the guys, then I’ll do an AA meeting. Can you guys cover for me with the interviews?"
"We will."
"Coffee and some muffins… you both could use something to eat." Lonnie came back into the room.
"Let’s go then." Kevin said and let Lonnie lead the way to the car.
*****
"You both look like you didn’t get any sleep last night. What’s wrong?” Brian immediately asked when Kevin and AJ walked into the back of the bus. Lonnie cleared the bus of everyone but the guys so that they could talk.
“Ciara’s on her way home to have some surgery done on her neck and head to relieve some pressure to her brain. She had a seizure last night.” AJ said in one breath before looking at Kevin.
“Rachel went with her back to the hospital to watch over her for us. AJ made a promise to Ciara that he’d finish the tour. So that’s what we’re going to do. But before you guys ask any questions, AJ has something else he wants to say.” Kevin stopped Nick from asking a question.
“Last night, Ciara had told me about the surgery. I stormed out when I couldn’t get her to see things my way and ended up down at the bar where Kevin found me. Yes, I was drunk. I gave in and drank. I was wrong and although I can’t promise that I’ll never take a drink again, I will admit that I am not strong when it comes to alcohol. Now, I’ve got to get to an AA meeting.” AJ explained.
“AJ… can I say something?” Nick asked. AJ knew that Nick would be the one to question him and his actions.
“Sure Nicky.” AJ gave Nick the floor.
“I’m sorry you felt that you had to turn to alcohol last night. I know that this isn’t easy for you at all, but I’m going to keep saying it for all of us. We’re here for you and we’ll help any way we can.”
“Thanks Nicky… what I need help with today is for you guys to let me go to the AA meeting, and then try to get a nap in before our performance tonight. Can you cover for me?” AJ asked them all. One by one they all said “Sure” and gave him a hug.
The funeral was a few days later. Kevin, Brian, Nick, and Howie flew in to support Tara, her family, and AJ. Afterwards, AJ would join the guys for rehearsals for the tour as Nick had been cleared to go on the road, just not be so active with the shows like he had been.
Ciara had decided to stick close to home for the boys for a few days and promised AJ she would join him and the guys within the week. He made her promise to get some rest and spend time with her brothers and to call him any time of the day or night.
The guys had been on the road for nearly a week when Ciara made the late night call to AJ.
“Alex?” Ciara asked into the phone when someone answered on the other end.
“No… it’s Nick… he’s sleeping. Ciara, you okay? I can wake him.” Nick answered and offered.
“Um, no, that’s all right. I just needed to hear a familiar voice.” Ciara was a little disappointed. She really missed AJ.
“Will I do?” Nick asked.
“Um, Nick, you’re sweet, but I know you’re tired. Just tell Alex I called?” Ciara didn’t know what else to say. She didn’t want to cry to Nick about how much she missed her mom and how much she missed Alex and Rachel and the guys. She wanted normalcy again and she wasn’t sure if she’d ever have it in her life now that her memory was back.
“When are you joining us?” Nick asked.
“This coming weekend. I’m waiting until Susie and Jarod are back from the city. I made them take a few days to themselves.” Ciara admitted.
“We can’t wait to see you. We all miss you. Especially Alex.” Nick admitted.
“Watch over him for me, Nicky. Let him know I called and that I love him, will ya?” Ciara asked.
“I will. You take care and we’ll see you in a few days.” Nick said.
Ciara felt better in just that few minutes with Nick. She really had only wanted to talk with Alex, but just making small talk with Nick helped her mood tremendously.
“Hey gorgeous!” Alex said as Ciara was ushered into a secured airport waiting room. The moment she heard his voice her whole facial expression changed from a somber one to an excited one.
“Alex!!!” she cried out and ran to him. “I thought they weren’t letting you come to meet me.” She said as he swung her around.
“They knew better. I couldn’t not be here to meet your plane angel eyes. I’ve missed you.” AJ replied as he put her down.
“I’ve missed you too. The phone calls just aren’t enough.” Ciara explained.
“Let’s get your bags and get to the venue. Everyone’s been waiting for you to get here too, but I’m happy just to have you in the same time zone with me now.” AJ kissed the back of her hand as they walked amidst the bodyguards.
“No offense to the rest of the guys, but the only one that I want to see, that I came to see is you. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve missed them too... but... they’re not you.” Ciara said only loud enough for AJ and herself to here.
“I promise that after the concert you’ll have me all to yourself. Can you hold out for a few more hours?”
“I’ll try.”
A few minutes later they were on their way to the venue. AJ managed to convince the guys to let him and Ciara drive one of the cars themselves.
“Now that we’ve got a few minutes alone... how are you really?” AJ asked as soon as they were within closed doors.
“I’m alright... The booktour resumes next week and I can’t wait for that. Jarod and I talked with Dan and the boys. Dan’s selling the house and he’s going to move himself and the boys to another house closer to Jarod and Sarah. I also promised that they could still come see you guys when you’re in Boston. Is that alright?”
“Of course. Now, what about the memories... are you still getting them?” AJ questioned.
“The flashes? Yeah... they come in waves. Some are intense, some are happy, some are sad, but all in all, nothing too earth shattering. Jarod has helped me through alot of them and so has your mom.”
“I’m sorry I haven’t ...” AJ started to apologize for not being physically able to help her through the memory problems, but Ciara stopped him by pressing a finger to his lips.
“You’ve done plenty already. Besides... I know you’re here for me and all that. I’m okay, Alex. Honest.” Ciara stressed. She didn’t want AJ to worry about her when he needed to focus on the concert tour.
“So... How are the boys and Amy? Did they all behave for you?” AJ said. He changed the subject so that neither one of them would get upset.
“Yeah… they were kids, ya know… we had our moments, but otherwise, they were okay. We all miss mom. So… tell me about the tour and stuff. What’s been going on with you?”
“Hanging out with Nick… played a lot of basketball… tried not to think of you.” AJ said, causing Ciara to blush.
They chatted the rest of the way to the venue about their time apart from each other. AJ had Ciara laughing by the time they had parked the car.
“Ciara!” Rachel cried out as Ciara got out of the car. Rachel and the guys were waiting by the guys’ bus.
“Hey… not too close… I may have caught Amy’s cold.” Ciara flat out lied. She wasn’t in the mood for hugs and kisses from everyone… just AJ.
“And you came anyway? What a trooper!” Nick declared.
“Well, alright… since I’m in a hugging mood, I guess I’ll hug AJ.” Brian teased as everyone laughed.
“You goob… go away.” AJ said as he shooed the guys off of him.
“We were all going to get something to eat before sound check. You two hungry?” Kevin asked.
“I ate on the plane.” Ciara commented.
“I had a burger at the airport.” AJ replied, “I think we’re just gonna hang out on the bus for a while until sound check? Okay?” he asked everyone. They all agreed.
“We’ll talk later?” Rachel questioned Ciara. Ciara nodded in response.
AJ and Ciara went to the back of the bus and laid down in one of the bunks and held each other for a while, neither speaking, as they listened to each other’s heartbeats.
“Boy how I’ve missed this.” AJ commented to break the silence about a half hour after they had laid down.
“I’ve got a confession to make Alex.” Ciara barely moved as she spoke. AJ took his hand to lift her face towards him so that they could look at each other.
“Good one or bad one?” AJ said with a smile.
“The flashbacks are getting worse. I blacked out in front of the boys and Jarod last night. I really scared them… I scared me.” Ciara was honest with AJ.
“Jarod told me. He also said that you flew out here against doctor’s wishes.”
“You know?” Ciara was a little shocked.
“Yeah, Jarod called me right after you boarded the plane. You mad?” AJ asked.
“A little…”
“I know why you came and I’m flattered, but you should have listened to the doctor.” AJ scolded her.
“I just don’t want to be alone and I don’t want to impose on my brother and Sarah and the family they’re building. My house is empty with Rachel here with all of you and I miss you.” Tears formed in Ciara’s eyes.
“Don’t cry… things will be alright, but the minute you have one of those flashbacks and you black out, you’re headed to the emergency room. Understand?” AJ insisted. Ciara nodded. “Good, now let’s take a nap… I haven’t been sleeping well without my sexy, cuddly teddy bear beside me.” He chuckled.
“Remind me next time I see that bear to toss it out the window.” Ciara giggled as she snuggled closer to AJ before falling asleep in his arms.
They were asleep for nearly an hour when Rachel was sent onto the bus to let AJ know they were about to do sound check and that he was needed.
“Awe… aren’t you two cute?” Rachel sighed when she saw them wrapped in each other’s arms. “AJ… you’re needed on stage.” She spoke a little louder.
“Wha?” Ciara woke first. When she moved, it woke AJ.
“Hey sleepyheads… AJ, they’re ready for a sound check.”
“Thanks Rach… We’ll continue this later?” AJ grinned before kissing Ciara on the cheek.
“You bet.” Ciara replied as she reluctantly let AJ go. Rachel sat down beside her.
“You okay?” Rachel asked as she looked at her friend.
“I’m doing alright. I miss mom despite everything that’s happened, I really do.” Ciara admitted quickly to Rachel.
“I miss her too.” Rachel began to cry, which got Ciara started.
* * * *
“AJ, Ciara ok?” Nick asked as soon as he saw AJ enter the stage.
“She’s fine, Nick. Don’t worry… “ AJ insisted.
“You look happy man…” Howie commented.
“Don’t tell me you two… on the…” Brian was about to get angry.
“We took a nap… that’s all… don’t make me come over there and give you a wedgie, Bri.” AJ laughed.
“Can we do this?” Kevin looked at all the guys as the band filed in.
“What’s his problem?” AJ asked Nick. Nick shrugged.
“Rachel’s heading home tomorrow. She took an assignment in Washington State for a few weeks and needs to get some things done.” Brian explained.
“Could we stop gossiping about my love life and get on with the rehearsal, thank you very much?” Kevin seemed a little agitated.
“That sucks, Kev. It really does, but you two will survive.” AJ went up to Kevin and whispered in his ear.
“Thanks AJ.” Kevin replied as the band started with Shape Of My Heart for the guys to warm up to.
During sound check, one of the roadies noticed that a set of motion stairs weren’t moving correctly so he brought it to everyone’s attention. The guys would have to quickly rechoreograph Show Me The Meaning. Once that was set, AJ bolted straight for the bus. He found Ciara and Rachel laughing over a photo album that Rachel had made of the guys for Ciara. He stood there watching the two best friends for a few minutes.
“Hey… do you mind?” Kevin nudged AJ into the back room of the bus.
“Sorry… I didn’t want to interrupt them. They were having such a great time.” AJ said.
The women looked up from the photo album.
“Oh, hey, sound check over already?” Rachel asked.
“Yup… meet and greet’s in a few… Ciara, you’re looking pale.” Kevin noticed. Rachel looked at her best friend and cocked her head to one side as AJ slipped in next to Ciara.
“You’re not suppose to be here, are you?” Rachel asked Ciara point blank. Ciara looked at AJ and knew instantly that he told no one what he knew.
“Don’t start, Rachel… I had no choice… I didn’t want to be alone.” Ciara answered frankly.
“What’s going on?” Kevin asked.
“I don’t want to talk about it. Can we all just have one night where there’s nothing wrong and we’re all just enjoying each other’s company? Please?” Ciara asked.
“You got it, babe.” AJ said before kissing her on the cheek.
“Okay… how about you ladies escort us to the meet and greet and then to our dressing rooms?” Kevin suggested.
“Sounds like a plan… lead on…” Rachel looked lovingly into Kevin’s eyes before turning to look into Ciara’s. She’d corner Ciara in the ladies room later and find out what was going on before she would call Jarod for the truth.
The meet and greet ran a little differently for this show. They were having some equipment problems with one of the opening acts so the question and answer session ran a little long.
“Is it true that your girlfriend is here, AJ?” one of the girls asked.
“Yup… she’s right over there… wave sweetie.” AJ said to Ciara. She managed a smile and a wave for the fans. She was standing next to Rachel. “And the woman next to her, is Kevin’s girlfriendfiancée, Rachel. Now don’t boo. We all have never seen him as happy as he is with Rachel in his life.”
“Weren’t they the two that won the MTV contest, but you had to declare another winner?” another girl asked. Ciara raised her hand. AJ noticed right away.
“Ciara… do you want to answer this one?” he asked. She nodded. Security led her and Rachel up to where the guys were. Brian handed Ciara his mic.
“Hi… I know you’re all here to see the guys and they’re grateful that you’re here, but if I could have a few minutes to explain the answer to the question the young woman in the back asked, I’d appreciate it. So to all you reporters out there… listen carefully and get it right. What happened was at the time of the concert, I had amnesia to a certain extent because of a really bad accident when I was fourteen. Yes, it’s true that AJ and I knew each other when we were children. He was led to believe that I died in the hospital after that accident. Anyway, Rachel and I listened to the guys, but I didn’t know AJ. I didn’t know that Rachel entered the contest and when she won, she and I headed to MTV to pick up the prize. AJ recognized me and immediately told the powers that be that he had to make sure who I was. The minute I heard AJ’s voice, I knew who he was and I remembered my past. The guys all knew right then and there that another winner had to be chosen. Rachel wasn’t upset by that. She understood completely. I hope that you, the fans, do too.” Ciara told them before handing the microphone back to Brian.
“Is AJ really the rebel of the group?” someone shouted out.
“Of course I am.” AJ replied and tore off his wife-beater. Ciara blushed.
Rachel noticed and nudged Ciara. “You ready to talk to me?” she asked. She figured that now was as good a time as any to try to talk to Ciara about what was going on. Ciara nodded. They motioned to the guys that they were leaving and went back to the bus with security to talk.
“Okay Ciara… spill…” Rachel stated as they sat down with water at the table in the back.
“I’m going in for minor brain surgery next week. I’ve got some blood vessels that are bleeding slightly.”
“How slightly?”
“Enough to put pressure on my spine, my memory nodes, and enough to be concerned about paralysis.” Ciara admitted.
“I’m canceling my traveling nurse job that I was suppose to begin. I’ll be your nurse for a while. How’s that sound?” Rachel said without hesitation.
“That would be the easy, comfortable route for both of us, wouldn’t it?” Ciara stated.
“Yeah, it would. Have you told AJ yet?” Rachel asked.
"I really think I should tell Alex without the guys around. I appreciate your offer, but let’s just take it a few minutes at a time. I promise that after I talk with Alex tonight that we’ll talk with the guys soon." Ciara promised.
Rachel didn’t push her any further to include the rest of the guys on what would be happening. She decided to be supportive of Ciara.
"Okay, just promise me that if you need me, you’ll let me know?" Rachel asked.
"In a heartbeat. During the concert, please don’t leave my side." Ciara stated.
"Are you kidding? It’s going to be maddening… you and I are going to be surrounded by security and then some. Tonight’s show is sold out. I’m surprised that we aren’t going to be handcuffed together." Rachel laughed.
"Someone say handcuffs?" Kevin asked as he entered the back room, causing both women to blush.
"Kev!" Rachel protested. He chuckled.
"Anyone ever tell you how much more beautiful you both look when you blush?" Kevin asked.
"Stop hitting on my woman, Kev." AJ said as he jokingly pushed Kevin out of the way.
"Sound check over already?" Ciara asked.
"Yup. We’ve got an hour or so before we need to change and such." AJ answered as he sat down on the other side of her.
"Wanna fool around?" Kevin asked Rachel as he held out his hand.
"Just don’t wear him out, okay? He needs some energy for the stage." AJ teased as Rachel and Kevin disappeared to the bunks. Ciara laughed.
"Alex, you’re incorrigible."
"But that’s why you love me." AJ said as he moved to nibble on her ear.
"Partly… how was the rest of the meet and greet?" Ciara asked.
"I’m beginning to wonder if the fans are more interested in who we’re dating than who we are anymore. They still had questions pertaining to you and Rachel after you left. It was hysterical. Nick finally told them that in actuality, you two were aliens from another planet, here to try to understand the difference between us and the rest of the boy groups out there." AJ told her. Ciara busted out with laughter.
"I can so picture him saying that too." She stated.
"So… tell me… what else did you do with your brothers and your niece while Jarod and Sara were alone for a few days?" AJ wanted to know.
"I took them into New York City to eat at WWE. They met Lita and The Hardy Brothers. It was cool. Oohh, I have pictures." Ciara said and whipped out a few for him.
"Looks like you loved it to." AJ replied.
"How could I not… being able to see my younger brothers laughing and having fun did me some good. I think the trip into the city did me some good too. Bonding with my brothers and stuff." Ciara admitted.
"You want children someday, don’t you?" AJ asked out of the blue. Ciara looked at him.
"I think I’d be a good mom, yeah." She replied.
"I think you’d be a wonderful mom." AJ replied.
"Thanks, Alex." She softened from her stoic position. She was afraid he would know that she had some bad news to tell him and she didn’t want him to get that vibe before the concert.
"You know, I was thinking… you’re probably exhausted from all that time with the kids and the flight. You don’t need to come watch the show if you’re not up to it." AJ explained.
“I want to be there. I wanna have some fun.” Ciara insisted.
“That makes me happy. That you want to be there.” AJ admitted.
“You make me happy. But would really make me happy is if we could just cuddle until you are needed in wardrobe.”
“I can oblige.” AJ smiled as he pulled her closer to him.
A little while later, Nick let them know it was time to go to wardrobe.
Ciara walked with AJ and the guys and Rachel over to wardrobe and then went and sat in their dressing room and waited for their curtain call.
After the concert was over, everyone went straight to the hotel. AJ and Ciara had planned on just staying in. Ciara had wanted to talk and AJ knew something was up.
“AJ, there’s more I need to tell you about what the doctor said.” Ciara admitted once they were alone in their hotel room. They were sitting on the bed enjoying the silence as they cuddled.
“Is everything alright?” AJ got a worried look on his face.
“Honestly? No… no it’s not.” Ciara took a deep breath. “I’m going in for minor brain surgery next week. I’ve got some blood vessels that are bleeding slightly.”
“How slightly?” AJ managed to ask as he let the news sink in.
“The doctors believe that by relieving the pressure that the bleeding is causing that it’ll ease the intensity of the headaches and stop the blackouts.” Ciara covered. She didn’t want to tell him about the possibility of brain damage and/or paralysis.
“This is why the doctor didn’t want you coming out? Does Jarod know?” AJ asked.
“No… only you and Rachel. I don’t want him to worry about me. He’s got Sarah and his family to worry about. I didn’t want to even tell you or Rachel, but I knew that I had to or you’d both know something was up when I didn’t come out here.” Ciara admitted.”
“I want to be there.” AJ stated.
“No… you need to finish this tour… You’ve got these last three weeks with ending in Boston. I’m having minor surgery…”
“Brain surgery is not minor surgery Ciara.” AJ was getting upset.
“Mine is, Alex. I don’t want you to cancel tour dates because of me. I’m going to be just fine. I swear, Alex.” Ciara replied.
“Do you think I’m stupid, Ciara? Do you?” AJ asked.
“Of course I don’t.” Ciara replied.
“How can you sit here and tell me that brain surgery is minor? Ciara… it’s pretty serious and there could be major complications.” AJ pointed out.
“Not for me. I’m going to be fine.” Ciara told him.
“Unbelievable.” AJ replied. He got up off the bed, grabbed his jacket and left the hotel room.
Ciara figured he just needed to calm down and would be gone thirty minutes tops, but when he didn’t show up over an hour later, she went to Kevin and Rachel’s room.
“Rach?” Ciara knocked on the door.
“Just a minute…” Rachel replied before answering the door. “You alright?” she asked.
“Alex took off after I told him… he’s been gone for over an hour and a half.” Ciara blurted out. Rachel reached for Ciara’s forehead.
“You feel warm… stressin’?”
“Everything alright?” Kevin asked moments later as he came to the doorway to see what was going on.
“I told him, Ciara. It’s alright.” Rachel explained.
“I told AJ about the surgery… he got upset and took off. At first I just thought he needed to calm down and would be right back, but he’s not.” Ciara explained.
“Why don’t you and Rachel go back to your room and I’ll get Lonnie and we’ll go look for AJ?” Kevin suggested.
“Okay.” Ciara replied. Kevin saw both women to Ciara’s hotel room before going to get Lonnie and looking for AJ. They found him in the lounge, drinking.
“Damn it Alex… I thought you were done with this stuff.” Kevin said as he sat on a stool next to AJ.
“Go away Kevin. I don’t need this from you tonight.” AJ returned the greeting.
“Do you know what you being down here is doing to Ciara right now? She’s upstairs in your hotel room crying over this. She didn’t even want to tell you about this. And now she has and you handled this oh so well by taking off and disappearing on her. She’s stressing so much she’s running a temperature and according to Rachel, that’s not good for Ciara.”
“Shut up Kevin. Just shut up.” Alex said as he tried to stand up. He could barely stand. Lonnie grabbed one arm while Kevin grabbed another.
“Coffee?” asked the bartender.
“Yes, and keep it coming.” Kevin replied as they found the nearest booth and threw Alex in it.
“Go away. Both of you.” Alex replied.
“Why didn’t you come to me or Brian tonight Alex? We would have talked you through this instead of you having to come down here and tie one on.” Kevin began.
“Don’t lecture me Kevin… you’ve never been in my shoes so don’t even try to pretend that you have.” AJ replied.
“So tell me what you’re trying to drink into oblivion? Talk to me, Alex.” Kevin replied. AJ stared at Kevin for a few minutes.
“I can’t lose her again, Kevin. She’s pretending that the surgery is minor. MINOR. How the hell can you classify brain surgery as minor? " AJ ran a hand through his hair.
"Alex, she’s in survival mode. She’s doing the best she can and she needs to believe that this is minor for her. Deep down you know that and deep down you’re kicking yourself in the ass for coming down here and having a few drinks." Kevin pointed out.
"Stop trying to be my conscious Kevin. Just go away. I just want to be alone." Alex eyed Kevin as he pushed away the coffee the waiter had brought him.
"That is enough!" Lonnie exploded, "You will not wallow in self pity about Ciara and her medical problems. YOU WILL NOT pull Kevin or anyone else down like this, AND YOU WILL drink that coffee, sober up, go up and apologize to Ciara and hold her like she needs to be held. YOU WILL talk to Kevin and the guys about what you did today and YOU WILL go to an AA meeting in the morning. Understand?" Lonnie slammed his fists on the table, startling both Kevin and AJ.
"Who the hell do you think you are?" AJ got in Lonnie’s face.
"You’re bodyguard and that is why I butted in, because I’m guarding your body and alcohol is not the answer. Now shut up and drink your coffee, dammit." Lonnie replied.
Kevin’s phone rang, causing them all to reach for their phones.
"Rach?" Kevin answered the phone.
"It’s Ciara… she’s had a seizure, I’ve called for an ambulance." Rachel replied.
"We’re downstairs in the restaurant… how bad?" Kevin asked.
"She’s incoherent and confused and scared. Totally understandable. Kevin, this was the worst I’ve ever seen them." Rachel admitted.
"We’ll follow in the car."
"What’s wrong?" Alex immediately asked.
"Ciara’s had a bad seizure AJ. Rachel called for an ambulance." Kevin told his friend.
AJ bolted from his seat and headed for the elevators.
"Lonnie, get the car."
"I’m so stupid." AJ said as Kevin grabbed hold of his arm.
"You can wallow in self-pity later… sober up pal. Ciara needs you." Kevin stated solemnly.
Rachel rode with Ciara in the ambulance while Lonnie, Kevin, and AJ followed behind in the SUV.
"Where is she, Rachel?" AJ asked when they got to the Emergency waiting room.
"The doctors are looking at her. Come sit down with me." Rachel insisted. She had been crying. AJ sat on one side of her, Kevin on the other.
"How bad?" AJ asked.
"She never regained consciousness from the time she began seizing until the paramedics took her back to the curtains." Rachel explained.
"It’s all my fault." AJ said as he put his head in his hands.
"AJ? She’s asking for you. She won’t let us help her until she sees you." A nurse came running into the room a few minutes later. AJ immediately followed the nurse.
"Angel Eyes? You have to let them help you." AJ said as soon as he reached her bedside.
"You okay?" she asked him as she smiled.
"I’m okay, you’re the one in the hospital. C’mon, let them help you." AJ stated.
"My medical records are in my suitcase… go get them. They’ll help the doctors. And don’t blame yourself. You and Jarod and my doctor were right, I shouldn’t have flown." Ciara stated.
"Okay, I’ll go get your records, but you just relax and don’t worry about me or anything else." AJ said as he kissed her cheek.
"I love you Alex." Ciara whispered in his ear.
"I love you too." AJ replied before leaving to go to Rachel and Kevin.
Lonnie and Rachel went back to the hotel for Ciara’s medical records while AJ and Kevin stayed back in the waiting room and waited for word on Ciara.
After Rachel and Lonnie returned with Ciara’s medical records, the doctor contacted Ciara’s neurosurgeon and plans were made to have a medical helicopter take Ciara back home for surgery as soon as possible.
Ciara wanted to be the one to tell AJ, Rachel, and Kevin. So she was transferred to a private examination room and the doctor went to get AJ and the others.
"I want to be there too." Alex said when Ciara was finished.
"Remember what I said earlier about you finishing the tour, I meant it. It’s been delayed several times already. Rachel and your mom will be with me. I’ll be fine." Ciara smiled for AJ.
"But…" AJ stopped himself, "okay, I’ll finish the tour but then I’m racing right over to the house after that last show. Understand?" Alex asked. Ciara nodded before turning to Kevin.
"Kevin, I need you and Lonnie to keep AJ’s ass in line. I’m sure Rachel will be using many minutes on the cell phone to keep you up to date on me and on her. Will you watch after Alex for me?" Ciara asked him.
"Of course I will. Don’t you worry about a thing. What should we tell the rest of the guys?" Kevin asked.
"Tell them the truth. And tell them to just concentrate on finishing the tour. I’m going to be just fine." Ciara insisted.
"So how soon do you leave?" Alex asked.
"About an hour. As soon as the helicopter is fueled and Rachel is brought up to speed on Ciara’s condition." The doctor answered.
"Can I stay until it’s time for her to go?" Alex asked, not taking his eyes off of Ciara.
"Sure, we’ll give you some privacy." The doctor replied. Kevin leaned down and gave Ciara a hug and a kiss.
"Don’t worry about us. I’ll take care of Alex." He whispered in her ear.
"Thanks, Kev." Ciara said. She waited until she was alone with Alex to tell him everything that was on her mind.
"Alex, I need you to call Jarod and tell him what’s happened. Can you do that?" Ciara asked Alex. He replied with a nod.
"And I need for you to stop blaming yourself. I know that’s what you are doing so stop it."
"I promise I’ll stop as soon as you admit that this is a very serious procedure and not some simple thing that you’re just doing to appease the doctors." AJ said.
"I know it’s very serious AJ and I was hoping that this would never happen, but it has. The only good thing about this is that it will relieve the headaches and maybe the memory flashes won’t be so painful physically like they have been. Everything’s going to be fine. You gotta have faith Alex, okay? For me?" Ciara asked him.
"I will." AJ promised.
"We should get her upstairs AJ." A nurse said a few minutes later.
"Okay… Ciara, I love you. And I’ll just be a phone call away until the tour is over." Alex looked into Ciara’s eyes.
"I love you too. I’ll see you soon." Ciara said. Kevin and Rachel came back into the room so that Kevin could again say goodbye to Ciara and keep AJ from following her up to the heliport.
Once Ciara and Rachel had disappeared down the hall, AJ collapsed in tears in Kevin’s arms.
Kevin held AJ as he cried, sometimes uncontrollably, sometimes softly until Lonnie interrupted them an hour or so later.
"Brian called. He, Nick, and Howie were wondering where everyone was. I told Brian that AJ needed to call a meeting and for everyone to meet on the tourbus in an hour. That alright?" Lonnie questioned.
"Uh," Kevin began.
"Yeah, that’s fine Lonnie. Um, could you get us some coffee?" AJ interrupted as he stood up and reached for a tissue.
"I’ll be right back." Lonnie said.
"Alex, the floor is all yours." Kevin said when it was just him and AJ again.
"Thanks Kevin. I may need you to help explain about Ciara, but let me be the one to come clean to the guys about the alcohol. Okay?" AJ instructed.
"You don’t have to mention…"
"Yes, I do… to be true to myself and my recovery, I do. Once we tell the guys, then I’ll do an AA meeting. Can you guys cover for me with the interviews?"
"We will."
"Coffee and some muffins… you both could use something to eat." Lonnie came back into the room.
"Let’s go then." Kevin said and let Lonnie lead the way to the car.
*****
"You both look like you didn’t get any sleep last night. What’s wrong?” Brian immediately asked when Kevin and AJ walked into the back of the bus. Lonnie cleared the bus of everyone but the guys so that they could talk.
“Ciara’s on her way home to have some surgery done on her neck and head to relieve some pressure to her brain. She had a seizure last night.” AJ said in one breath before looking at Kevin.
“Rachel went with her back to the hospital to watch over her for us. AJ made a promise to Ciara that he’d finish the tour. So that’s what we’re going to do. But before you guys ask any questions, AJ has something else he wants to say.” Kevin stopped Nick from asking a question.
“Last night, Ciara had told me about the surgery. I stormed out when I couldn’t get her to see things my way and ended up down at the bar where Kevin found me. Yes, I was drunk. I gave in and drank. I was wrong and although I can’t promise that I’ll never take a drink again, I will admit that I am not strong when it comes to alcohol. Now, I’ve got to get to an AA meeting.” AJ explained.
“AJ… can I say something?” Nick asked. AJ knew that Nick would be the one to question him and his actions.
“Sure Nicky.” AJ gave Nick the floor.
“I’m sorry you felt that you had to turn to alcohol last night. I know that this isn’t easy for you at all, but I’m going to keep saying it for all of us. We’re here for you and we’ll help any way we can.”
“Thanks Nicky… what I need help with today is for you guys to let me go to the AA meeting, and then try to get a nap in before our performance tonight. Can you cover for me?” AJ asked them all. One by one they all said “Sure” and gave him a hug.
posted by Tamm at
6:52 PM
